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| Donderdag 31 Januari 2008 15:22 |
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“Kijk,” zegt de hoogbejaarde man met een krakende stem, terwijl hij met zijn knokige vinger naar een foto wijst van een viriele jongeman, “dat ben ik.” Als je er goed over nadenkt, is deze alledaagse scène wonderbaarlijk en ongeloofwaardig. Waarom is hij dezelfde als de man op de foto? Er is geen cel meer in zijn huidige lichaam die het oude bestaan heeft meegemaakt. Hoe ouder je wordt, hoe minder je de oude bent. Het enige wat de twee mannen verbindt, is de herinnering. Maar wat als ook die wegvalt? Ben je ook de baby op de foto, hoewel je van die tijd niets is bijgebleven, blijf je jezelf ook als je dement bent? Is er een essentie onder al die enorme verschillende verschijningsvormen van een mens? De Belgische filosofe Patricia de Martelaere stelt deze vraag in haar essay: Wat blijft. Als het al moeilijk is om te zeggen, wat de baby, de volwassene en de demente verbindt, is het al helemaal onmogelijk om te bepalen wat de zin is van dat bestaan. Kunst wordt vaak gezien als troost voor deze onbarmhartige boodschap. De voorstelling Gods Wachtkamer van Toneelgroep Carver gaat over een bejaarde. Nu niet een man, maar een vrouw. Ze is niet dement, maar de aftakeling is definitief begonnen. Ze kan niet meer op woorden komen. Ze leeft half in een fantasiewereld en het enige waarin ze nog uitblinkt, is aandacht vragen en haar dochter tot wanhoop drijven. Carver schetst een toekomstvisioen waaraan jongeren liever niet willen denken. Je sterft niet ineens, maar langzaam. Je ziel verdampt. En dat gaat ongemerkt, zoals je ook niet ziet dat water op het schoteltje verdwijnt. Op een gegeven moment is het weg. Er is niets meer dat jou tot jou maakt, behalve je naam. En uiteindelijk vergeet je die ook. Het is een ontroerend gegeven. Toch ontroert de voorstelling helemaal niet. Dat komt omdat we opgesloten zitten in het nu. Er is geen herinnering. We krijgen geen enkel zicht op de vrouw die de bejaarde is geweest. Carver geeft eigenlijk een radicale interpretatie van de vraag die De Martelaere opwerpt. De bokkige bejaarde die we op het toneel zien, heeft niets te maken met de vitale vrouw die ze ooit was. Het verleden leeft niet voort in het heden. Er is alleen het nu. En omdat er alleen nu is, is er ook geen vergankelijkheid. En dus geen ontroering. Hoe kan je een verlies betreuren als je niet weet wat er verloren ging? De gesprekken tussen moeder en dochter worden afgewisseld met slapstick-achtige acrobatiek van twee kleinzonen van de oude vrouw. Tijdens de voorstelling begreep ik niet wat deze op zich komische exercities met de voorstelling te maken hebben. Pas later zag ik een mogelijke verbinding. Slapstick gaat over het onpersoonlijke menselijke tekort. De dingen gaan niet mis om de keuzes die we maken, maar om stommiteiten of pech. Je draait je om en vergeet dat je een ladder op je schouder draagt en onthooft bijna een passant. Maar omdat het niet gaat om keuzes, gaat het ook niet om karakters. Pech is onpersoonlijk. En zo heeft Carver een voorstelling gemaakt met een boodschap die in tegenstelling wat De Martelaere over kunst beweert helemaal niet troost, die niet ontroert en de toeschouwer evenmin aan het denken zet. Oud worden is een bananenschil en ooit ga je onderuit. Verschenen in TM februari 2008 |
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